Retirement

Which spatula will the Marine choose?

I’m not a US Marine, but I’ve seen a lot of war movies, which I believe makes me an eminently competent armchair general and some say military personal preference, or maybe not. . however, One of my favorite war movies is Heartbreak Ridge. Starring Clint Eastwood. In the film, Eastwood plays a gunnery sergeant assigned to an inactive platoon of Recon Marines who are the whipping boys of Major Aptite’s “elite platoon.” At some point during the film the two platoons engage in an exercise that ends in a mud pit brawl between the two platoons. The platoon with the last man standing wins the weekend off. It looks like Major Aptite’s platoon is going to win as two of his men drag the half-submerged Stitch Jones out of the mud pit. However, as they reach the edge, Jones soccer punches the two boys and they retreat. Major Aptite complained to the referee while Eastwood defended his man saying: He “adapted and mastered” – a philosophy he was trying to instill in his platoon.. Major, who happened to work in logistics, claimed that Jones was fighting unfairly and not following the rules. The referee decides to let Eastwood and Major fight it out and of course Eastwood wins.

So what does this have to do with spatulas?

I am fighting. My own personal battle against the proliferation of kitchen appliances. For now, I count. Three spatulas in our house. Number one is a black plastic spatula that has recently broken but retains some semi-functionality. Number two is a black plastic spatula which to my untrained eye looks identical in use to number one which, as you remember, was also a black plastic spatula. The Number Tree is one of those rubbery blue spatulas that are only useful for spreading mushy or creamy foods around. Number three is clearly the most awkward and the least useful. Now, DW claims there are subtle differences between one and two, but I can’t see what that is. Number two may have a slightly sharper edge or a different angle or size. I just grab one of these when I need a spatula and they seem to work just as well.

Then again, I doubt it is A question of following more established procedures and pot etiquette Or maybe it’s a question of not fitting a square peg into a round hole even if the square peg is small enough to fit anyway. Beat me! I can use the spoon as a spatula if I need to. Adapt and take control!

Our philosophical debates aside, I believe I’ve got it. The final solution Which satisfies my need to not have too many tools to do the job as well as the need to follow proper DW procedures. Like a spork that is a combination of spoon and fork, I give you what might be called a spoonola.Link to Amazon).

It’s a spoon, which I’ve loved ever since. I can lift liquids. Replace my need for other spoons with this and so on. It has one. Sharp edge like spatula number two Above is also this As big as a spatula number one And hopefully the rounded back side of the spoon can be used. Smear around things like a spatula number tree.. Best of all, it’s made of wood, which means that if it breaks, it can be burned instead of ending up in a landfill. I think I’ll keep this on my wish list until the other spatulas break too.


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Originally Posted 2007-12-28 23:57:53.


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